I’m a big believer that the fastest way to change your life is by carrying a notebook everywhere you go. Taking note of the interesting things you come across serves as a solid reminder that your primary job isn’t to do more—it’s to learn more. It can help you to be a better listener and life observer. Plus, collecting thoughts has a funny way of generating new sparks. Since becoming an avid note-taker, however, a glaring pattern’s emerged that’s hard to ignore.

The late-great food and travel legend Anthony Bourdain and his business partners were in LA to meet with a Hollywood executive to ink a possible deal for a TV show. On paper, Anthony and his partners struggled to find a hole in the proposal. Not only did the man they were dealing with have a reputation for being very good at his job, but the numbers were insane, and according to Bourdain, if they accepted the deal it would have made him and his partners all filthy-rich, like “Bond villain-wealthy.

Everything worth doing comes with opinions. Imagine you’re lying in a hospital bed. It’s late. You’re 93 years old. The nurse turns out the light and says goodnight. You close your eyes and begin to think about your life, and in an instant, your pitch-black room comes alive with color. You see yourself playing football with your buddies in the backyard of your childhood home. You see yourself graduating from college wide-eyed and full of Schlitz.

“Nothing kills progress faster than indecision!” My dad was in the military. I can’t count the number of times he said these words to me when I was a kid. Regardless of the warnings, like a lot of people, I still spend an extreme amount of time in my head either ruminating over past decisions or worrying about future ones. Recently, however, I came across a line of thinking from author Malcolm Gladwell I’d never heard before that smacked me square on the jaw.

A key insight from someone who’s woken up 15,376 times Like most 42 year-olds, I’ve woken up over 15,000 times. Like most 42 year-olds also, especially those with kids, whenever I see an article about how to dominate the day by embracing a morning routine, I yawn. But despite my aversion to structure and love of all things snooze, a few years ago the fear, stress, or downright panic I felt immediately upon waking up began to be intolerable.

No one is coming to save you When Steve Jobs was 12-years-old he wanted to build a frequency counter, but he was lacking some of the necessary parts to complete the project. Instead of giving up, however, he did the only thing he could think of: he looked Bill Hewlett’s number up in the phonebook and he gave him a call. To Steve’s surprise, Bill, the co-founder of Hewlett Packard, personally answered the phone.

When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting “Most people spend the first half of their lives collecting and the second half determining what to keep. Now that you’re approaching the top of the hill, I’d love to know what lessons you plan to keep with you?” On my 39th birthday, a friend of mine asked me the question above. I can’t remember what I said in response. It probably wasn’t anything clever.

On March 25th, 2019, I sat down at my computer, took a deep breath, and finally mustered up the courage to hit publish on an article I thought had the potential to fly. I’d spent days writing it. I must have asked a dozen people for feedback. When I went to look at my stats, the following morning, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The article was airborne. It wasn’t going viral or anything.

Gratitude. I know we need it in our lives, but I’ve struggled to make it a regular part of mine. And just like most ungrateful people who wish to be more grateful, I would often get frustrated for not being the type of person who remembers to appreciate all the good things. But then a little over a year ago, I came across a fix: I was listening to a podcast interview with Noah Kagan, the founder of AppSumo, when he began raving about something he called a “Holy Shit Jar.

A story about being brave in moments that matter The woman sat at her kitchen table staring at the four names. In this moment, despite her 83 years, she felt like a nervous teenager. She couldn’t believe what she was doing. Months earlier, while walking the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile trek across northern Spain, she’d met a man. It seemed to be just another friendly encounter with a stranger, one of many she’d had since arriving in the country.

Pharrell Williams, Maggie Rogers, and what it takes to stand out from the crowd You’ve probably seen the video. A group of music students walk into a class to find legendary rapper-producer Pharrell Williams sitting there. He’s been invited by the teacher to critique their work. Listening to a couple of the demos, he gives notes like, “I would try stacking that lead vocal on the chorus,” and, “The second verse doesn’t communicate as confidently as the first one.

A woman spotted legendary motivational speaker Zig Ziglar after one of his events and she immediately ran over to him. Before he even had a chance to introduce himself she was already seven layers deep into a tirade about how much she hated her job. Zig was taken back — never had he seen so much anger in another human being. The woman was positively irate. After the woman began to lose some steam she turned to Zig and said, “You gotta help me!

When I took a sales job after college, some of my friends made it clear that they thought I was making a mistake. They were “concerned,” they said, about my stutter. “What if you make a fool of yourself?” they said. After I quit that sales job and moved to Barcelona without work, some of my friends made it clear they thought I was making a mistake. They worried I’d feel stupid, they said, when I inevitably gave up on Spain and moved back to the U.

As a teenager, my definition of cool was kids rocking Nirvana T-shirts, pulling drags behind my high school. During college, I thought guys who were good with girls were cool. When I entered the real world my definition changed again and I thought people with money were cool. But at the age of 41, you want to know what my definition of cool looks like today? It’s someone who’s a decent human being.

I was driving down a single-lane street in downtown Barcelona during the morning rush when suddenly the driver of the car in front of me slammed on his brakes and came to a screeching halt. After I got my bearings, I then watched the guy get out of his car and walked into a corner bar — leaving not only me but a line of people waiting. As you might imagine, chaos ensued.